Breakup refers to the separation of romantically involved individuals who were formerly committed to one another, leading to relationship termination.
The experience of breakups can be traumatic, unpleasant, and extremely stressful for individuals, causing significant mental agony, emotional suffering and turmoil.
Breakups are often, accompanied by significant psychological distress, reduction in self-worth, depression, anxiety, insomnia, rumination, intrusive thoughts/memories and dysfunctionality in the significant areas of life.
Breakups are said to be one of the most tormenting events in the lives of individuals.
When a breakup is unexpected or sudden, it can feel even more intense or traumatic, often leading to the rupture of an individual’s self-esteem.
The good news is that you don’t have to be stuck in this tumultuous phase forever.
Here are some ways to jumpstart your breakup recovery:
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Immediate No Contact Period
The foremost crucial step that you can take for yourself is immediately going on a no-contact period post-breakup. Contact may alleviate the pain temporarily, but it’s certainly not suitable for the long run. Ending communication should be a priority, for you to find peace, move on and eventually heal from your ex. Resist the urge to come up with any creative excuses to reach out to them, doing so could sabotage your recovery.
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Stop asking them for Closure
When you are repeatedly asking them for closure, you’re seeking it in the wrong place. It might not seem enough or gratifying even if you get it. The ultimate closure comes from within.
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Accept the reality
Acknowledge your feelings & emotions and face the truth. The farther away you go from your present situation, the tougher it becomes to face reality later on. There can’t be moving on without being present. It may be the end of your former relationship but it’s a new beginning for you. Surrender to the reality and embrace your truth. Reconciliation and negotiation may not be in your best interest.
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Stop wanting what doesn’t want you back
Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. We only end up compromising on ourselves when we settle for less than what we deserve. Choose from a place of love, not from a place of lack.
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Resist the urge to rebound
Take the time to work through your breakup and learn from what went wrong and what role you played in that relationship. Jumping from one partner to another would not resolve the actual problem and make you walk down the path of yet another unpleasant relationship. A rebound is not a fix for a breakup. Take the necessary time out for reflection.
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Stop telling yourself that they were “the one”
You need to stop pedestalizing and idealizing your ex. Instead of waiting for the one, be the one who brightens up your life. Be the best version of yourself.
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Practice Gratitude
You may be so engrossed in looking at what you’ve lost that you forget what you’ve gained in that experience and what you still have with you. Scribble down everything you’re grateful for and you’ll be surprised with how the list may contain things/people you had forgotten about. Reach out to those, call that old bestie.
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Be easy on yourself
Healing is not a straight line. There may be many bumps, highs and lows and that’s still a part of recovery. Take the time to grieve. Feel and release all your emotions. Don’t judge yourself for feeling needy or missing them. Instead, comfort yourself like you would a little child.
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Have a Support system
Remember we are never alone. Try reaching out for help from your close ones and if need be talk to a specialist. Avoid having just one source of support. This could lead to dependency. A good support system includes three or more people who you could rely on.
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Prioritize yourself
Practice self-care and bring the focus back to yourself. List down the things that you did not get time for otherwise and do them now. Utilize this time to learn new skills and build a healthy and wholesome life. Take back all the love you wanted to give and direct it towards yourself.
Planning out your day and keeping yourself busy can help in coping with the pain you are currently going through. Eat healthy, go out, hit the gym, take care of yourself and maintain a good sleep hygiene. Treat yourself just right. Do things that help boost your self-confidence.
Remember, time heals all wounds only when you choose to let yourself heal. What you do with that time which you’re taking to heal and the choices that you make, matter.
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Ms. Ashi Tomar is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.