It is very important that when you are in a relationship, you can identify if your partner/s are being toxic. It is normal for couples to get so indulged in a relationship that they often end up tolerating what we call “the toxicity” and not realise it.
Here is how we can avoid being the and being with the “Toxic One” in your relationship.
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Communicate: Make sure that you and your partner/s are having a healthy communication where you are discussing your needs and desires and especially about how you feel. If you are not clear about what you want then it might cause a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings which can result in unnecessary arguments and fights which can be pretty stressful and emotionally exhausting for you and your partner/s.
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Tell the Truth: We often end up lying to our partner/s just because we do not want to hurt them or we want to avoid any type of conflict with them. Even though you might get away with the lie temporarily, there is always a chance that you might get exposed in the future which can cause a lot of issues, and then you can easily get into a verbally abusive relationship.
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Trust them: Either you trust your partner/s or you don’t, there is no in-between. The more you keep yourself in between, the more toxic it will get for you and your partner/s. You might end up questioning them whenever they speak to someone or are going out alone or are not picking up your phone etc. Having even the slightest suspiciousness can ruin your relationship and make it toxic.
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Watch out for early signs of Abuse: There are five major types of abuse- Physical, Mental, Financial, Emotional, and Verbal. It is very important to be able to identify if you or your partner/s are being abusive in the relationship. In other words, these are also known as the red flags and the yellow flags. If you see yourself or your partner/s are using abusive words, disrespecting you, using you for your money, hitting you, blackmailing you, gaslighting you, and causing you a lot of stress, etc, then you must be able to identify that and take action accordingly.
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Being Possessive or Obsessive: Trying to be controlling or being controlled is one of the biggest toxicities in a relationship. The more you control someone, the more they would want to run away from you and want their freedom. Yours and their mental health will uniquely take its toll because of the stress which is caused by the person who is controlling them. Also, being controlling is itself a very stressful job. If you genuinely love someone, controlling is not the way to show them or care for them. Every individual is responsible for their actions, being obsessed with them or their lives or controlling them is only going to lead you to a massive toxic relationship.
Sometimes we know what is happening around us but we are too scared to point it out. In that case, it is okay to be scared. We only need to tell ourselves that if we do not put an end to this now then it will only get worse and who knows how it might affect you and your mental health.
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Guntass Cour Sandhu is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.