Being in love with someone is one of the most amazing experiences for individuals
As beautiful as the feeling might be, sometimes another individual is not the right fit or an appropriate match for us. Continuing to stay in love with someone who is not the one for us can hamper life to a great extent resulting in poor mental or physical health. Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. Unloving someone is more of accepting that the former relationship may no longer be an option.
If you’re wondering how to leave that relationship behind, let go and unlove them, refer to the tips given below:
-
Maintain a no-contact period diligently and refrain from any kinds of stalking behaviours. Cheating yourself in your healing journey and giving excuses for carrying out such behaviours is never fruitful. It can make you fall back to ruminative patterns. Get out of your own way and allow healing to take place.
-
The healthy choices you make today(no matter how painful) will make your future better. According to Viktor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
-
Thinking about why the relationship ended is inevitable but resist going into the negative spiral of unhealthy thoughts that may be counter-productive. Instead, pay attention to the potential benefits of the breakup.
-
Redirect all the love you have in your heart towards yourself and your well-wishers. Practice self-care and self-soothing practices.
-
Let people make their own choices and resist playing the blame game. Don’t let your worth live in other people’s choices. Take healthy ownership of your own life and actions.
-
Discard the mementoes preserved in their memory and prevent going over those items repeatedly.
-
List down your unique benefits of moving on and remind yourself regularly.
-
No matter what happens in the future, don’t sit around waiting and hoping endlessly. Have alternate positive distractions and goals.
-
Give yourself time and take that time to process your emotions. Bring all that focus back to yourself and invest in self-love.
-
Understand and accept that breakups are an inevitable part of dating as two people should actively choose one another, just one partner making the choice to stay with another is not enough.
-
Avoid acting on vengeful feelings, if any. Don’t make choices with unforeseen consequences. Acting this way is the best way to go out of control and leads to feeling worse as opposed to feeling better.
When we love someone too hard we often forget the importance of ourselves and our needs. Realising that it’s time to unlove someone is a wakeup call to shower all that love upon ourselves. Remember, if they didn’t love you hard enough, you can and it’s probably time for you to love yourself. True change can only happen with a commitment to the process. Stay true to yourself and your healing while attempting to take steps towards unloving someone.
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Ms. Ashi Tomar is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.