Narcissistic abuse is defined as verbal, sexual, physical, financial or emotional abuse experienced by a person with narcissistic traits.

 

A narcissist is described as an individual who spends a little too much time loving or caring for themselves. At the core of all this love, lies shame – and a narcissist might go to any length to avoid feeling it.

 

People who undergo said abuse seem to have a distorted version of reality as a result of being constantly manipulated. They tend to be sceptical about everything and may find it difficult to trust anyone as they have been conditioned to do so.

It has been scientifically proven that repeated and long-term abuse can damage not only memory but also the thinking and learning ability.

This article will be focusing on tactics used to abuse individuals by a narcissist :

  • Rage is a common tactic that can come out any time out of the blue and is used to scare an individual into compliance.

  • Gaslighting is a technique that makes the individual question their version of reality by denying their truth. This leads the victim not only question others, but themselves as well. Soon they lose the ability to trust.

  • Silent Treatment is another one of their favourite tactics, as they go into silent mode whenever their demands are not met. They use ignorance as punishment, and then let the victims “off-the-hook” when they apologise, seeing it as a promise for changed behaviour.

  • Projection is a defense mechanism they rely on quite often as they dump their issues onto their victim as if the victim’s the one doing the wrong deed. For eg, to get out of being accused of lying – the narcissist may blame the victim in turn for them lying instead.

  • Twisting is when they turn the tables onto the victim and start blaming the victim instead. Narcissists refuse to feel accountable for their behaviours.

  • Emotional Blackmail may include anger, threats, punishment, guilt etc that provokes doubt in the victim. They’re left questioning themselves and their actions.

However, the first step of getting out of this situation is recognising it. Anybody in your life could be presenting with these traits – could be your spouse, relative, friend, boss among others.

Following are a few tips to deal with narcissistic abuse:

  • Identify your personal beliefs and authentic self. Personal beliefs that are keeping you emotionally involved in the relationship need to be challenged and dealt with. Identifying your authentic self will help create boundaries for your self which will then let you know where to draw a line.

  • Find out what is making you support the narcissist and blame yourself, then work on restructuring that thought.

  • Write down what your mind says about the situation. This should help give you clarity over your thoughts and situation along with recording the events as they happen.

Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.

About MindTribe.in.

MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.

About the Author.

Anshika Jha is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.

Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.