In our lives, we all witness situations and go through experiences that leave behind a bad memory. Even though many might feel that getting in and out of a relationship is no big deal, it is vital to understand that there always exists room for personal differences. Not everyone reacts the same way. All of us will have our ways to deal with a break-up. More often than not, the emotions one goes through during the process of a break-up are not always fully expressed. What this does is that it makes us feel safe and calm at the moment, but in the long run, these emotions can make us vulnerable and might affect our thought process and behavior in a broader aspect.

When we talk about how to have a civil relationship with one’s ex, it becomes vital for an individual to realize that letting go of the past is an important step. If these memories are dealt with, they can lead to misunderstandings and might trigger thoughts that can lead to overthinking or anxiety.

So how does one do it? How does one let go of the past? Most of us are aware of the fact that to move on or let go of something. It is significant to express and talk about those things. But when we talk about letting go of things or getting over the past, it is more complicated than just expressing ourselves, because if it were that simple, we would not have held on to these emotions in the first place. Like any other task, there are different steps involved in letting go of the past.

So, what are the different steps?

  1. Acknowledge the emotions- Before we dive into anything, we need to have a complete awareness of the situation and the problem that resounds us. As these emotions are repressed by our brain or hidden in the corner of our memories, it becomes hard to identify them. So, our first step is to understand the different emotions and thoughts that we had experienced during a break-up and then further acknowledge their existence.

  2. Accept it is time to let it go- Acknowledging the emotions won’t mean one would be ready to let these emotions go away. Since most of these emotions and thoughts are negative, experiencing them and expressing them will lead to discomfort and pain. Here, it is essential to realize that the longer you hold onto these feelings, it will only lead to worsening of the situation. Therefore, it becomes necessary for us to be aware that we need to let them go for the better.

  3. Expression- After acceptance, we need to let these emotions go. But how do we do it? Everyone has a different way of showcasing their emotions. It can be anything like talking to a friend and letting them know what happened and what you felt or penning your thoughts down on a piece of paper. What is noteworthy in this step is that we vent out our feelings and do not hold on to any thoughts and emotions for later.

  4. Living in the moment- Although you might feel that expression is the final step in the process, it is not. As mentioned above, these memories are haunting and would leave behind a damaging effect. It is crucial to ensure that we are in the moment once we let go of these emotions. For that, we turn our heads towards mindfulness techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, controlled deep breathing, etcetera. This will help us bring ourselves back to the present and deal with these emotions better.

Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.

About MindTribe.in.

MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.

About the Author.

Kashish Singh is a Counselor at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.

Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.