‘That dress does not look good on you. Maybe being a few kilos lighter would have helped.’
‘My gym trainer will make you fit in no time! You need to lose that arm fat.’
‘If you don’t lose weight soon, how can we start to find a good husband for you?’
‘Men should be tall and fit, like Bollywood actors. Nobody will give you their girl if you look like that.’
Have these statements been directed at you? If not, you are one of the few people in this country who have not been fat-shamed by strangers, friends, acquaintances, peers, or family members.
Defined by nutritionist Kris Gunnars, fat-shaming is the verbal act of criticizing overweight individuals and passing judgments on their weight, often intending to make them feel ashamed of themselves. On one end of the spectrum, this act can either be performed with subtleness and with toxic humor involved, or it can also take the action of violence on the other end of the spectrum. The judgment here passes due to the thought that being ‘fat’ is something unacceptable and needs to be changed, not being seen as something natural and very normal. Moreover, fat-shamers often believe that those who are overweight are often due to the performance of conscious actions such as overeating, not engaging in physical exercises, and being ignorant about their ‘health.’
An overweight person can hardly escape fat-shaming in our country, regardless of age, gender, occupation, education, or personality. Fat Shamers, a majority being ‘thin’ and ‘normal weighted,’ often find themselves in a position of authority over overweight individuals. One of the reasons for gaining this sense of power is that being ‘fat’ is seen as a weakness or a sin. A 2018 study by Arizona state university found that the extra body fat makes fat-shamers feel that the other person is unworthy of respect, sometimes love. These negative thoughts manifest themselves in actions, including bullying, taunts, comments, and in many cases, hatred as well.
Researchers at Arizona State University also found that constant fat-shaming has also been linked to experiencing higher depressive symptoms, increased tendency to attempt suicide, resorting to cutting, experiencing negative and intrusive thoughts about self, and increased anxiety about the future. This is a result of repeated taunts by others, consistent insulting, and cognitive distortions.
Ask any victims of fat-shaming, and the first thing they tell you is how much their self-esteem suffers due to name-calling and bullying. When others find us unworthy of love and attention, our mental health suffers since we often paint the same picture for ourselves. Those extra kilograms become our identity, with tags such as ‘Fat,’ ‘Whale,’ and ‘Elephant’ labeled on us. Self-esteem suffers here since we are attracting more negative comments than positive ones.
In attempts to reduce the stigma attached to being fat and reduce bullying, victims of fat-shaming often resort to weight-reducing behaviors, such as taking a healthy approach in reducing their weight or taking extreme measures to grow slim.
As per research by Florida State University, eating disorders may result from this, where individuals often refrain from consuming food and starve throughout the day, attempting to reduce their weight through starvation. This leads to anorexia and loss of energy. Unnatural diets are taken up, and people spend hours in the gym to reduce their weight, often leading to more mental health and physical issues.
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The first thing that we need to address as a society is that being overweight and fat is not wrong; it is natural. The word ‘fat’ has a stigma attached to it, which it needs to shed. Hence, we need to understand that there is nothing unnatural about being overweight or heavier than those around us.
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We also need to understand that, apart from doctors, nobody is entitled to comment on someone’s health or weight. This is because only a doctor can approve if a person’s health is in danger due to their weight.
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Health and weight are separate entities. Thereby, someone being overweight does not immediately put their health in danger or make them susceptible to illnesses. Phrases such as ‘We are only concerned about your health’ are used as a disguise to fat-shame, which is not only rude but also medically inaccurate.
Fat-shaming has been prevalent for a long time in our country, and with new standards of beauty that promote the hourglass figures in females or the 6-pack abs with bulging muscles in males, this issue is consuming everyone. However, we have started observing a change in the way brands are approaching beauty, and with overweight influencers, we are slowly observing acceptance in the community. Fat-shamers are being called out in the open, and we are looking at a new era that promises acceptance for plus-sized individuals in society.
Nevertheless, fat-shaming is a highly prevalent practice in our country, where people get fat-shamed by teachers in educational institutions, cat-called in public, or get taunted by their family members. Hence, the next time you witness somebody fat-shaming or experience it yourself, do not be afraid to call them out and remind them that being fat is not something to be ashamed of; it is natural and normal.
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Moyera is a team member at MindTribe.in.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.