It is okay to feel this way, given all you’ve been through’- how does it feel when someone significant says this to you. It is empowering and alleviate half of the worries and sadness making you feel heard, safer and provides a sense of strength.
A lot of discomfort everyday can manifest itself in mental health problems like stress, anxiety and depression etc. therefore, it is important to build healthy coping skills. One such skill is purgation of your emotions and feelings commonly known as ‘catharsis’. It is only useful when you feel validated. Validation is a healthy communication skill where a person empathetically listens to you keeping a non-judgmental perspective about the problem. Psychologists recommend practicing validation in interpersonal as well as intra-personal communication. It can reduce the rate of incidence and severity of various disorders.
There are few levels of validation, and it is important to understand these first and then integrate into practice.
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Be Mindful: It is about being present in the moment, acknowledging the intrinsic feelings rather than escaping from it and understanding it in a non-judgemental manner.
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Do Mirroring: It is about conveying back what is heard in an authentic way, what it simply does is distinguishing thoughts with emotions which provides clarity.
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Develop Insight: When you provide validation to others try to be in their shoes or simply put, think what they think and feel what they feel also called as mindreading.
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Find Context: When you try to validate self or others, listen and explore the background information (the past, the characteristics, the biological influences, traditional patterns of behavior) keeping in view the history and other factors. It will help build a wider perspective of the problem.
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Normalize: It is very important to respect and accept the reactions and responses that a person expresses in a situation. It eliminates negative emotions like passive aggression.
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Radical Genuineness: It is about communicating genuinely as you would with someone who is equal to you rather than someone who needs help. Example: sometimes self-disclosing may make the two people relate to each other in a better way.
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Dr. Rumana Sanam is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.