There exist differing opinions on the timeframe that would qualify the length of a relationship. Depending on one’s experience, would one term their relationship to be long-term or not.
Devoted couples generally maintain high levels of oxytocin, a buoyantly connecting hormone that, in the first few months of the relationship, lasts around nine months to three years in this accruing (and exceptionally “in-love”) state. Between nine months to three years, the oxytocin levels tend to drop off as both the partners sink into a groove with one another. A scientific frame of reference would conclude that a long-lived relationship is where the partners would face loving and healthy interactions once their oxytocin levels have dropped off.
A relationship is characteristic of several factors such as unique dating experiences, cultural influences, and upbringing. A couple of months into the relationship, partners may have a general idea of the dynamics and may have even said, “I love you” to one another.
An average long-term relationship lasts anywhere between two to three years. Post this peak, couples tend to notice a dip in their oxytocin levels and feel less infatuated towards one another. They may begin to notice unsettled and affixing problems.
There are multiple requisites to make a relationship last longer and more fulfilling – thereby meeting an individual’s need for commitment and love. For a supreme long-term relationship to work, the partners must:
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Be open, honest, and communicative.
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Be able to recognize and convey their needs to one another.
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Want to work to make each other’s needs meet.
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Share relational goals.
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Have insight, be willing to look into own behavior, and understand each other’s perspective.
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Maintain balanced reciprocity within the relationship.
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Have a developed sense of empathy.
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Want to be together and have no obligations for the same.
For a long-term relationship to function, partners have their sights on building a loving and healthy relationship whilst creating a balanced life together. This may include:
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Infatuation and bonding: This would entail heightened levels of oxytocin, feeling attached, and being open with one another.
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Knowing each other: Deeper attachments, canvassing, and sharing independent and shared desires.
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Bringing lives together: Having one’s own distinctive balance for how much or how little the partners are involved in each other’s lives.
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Commitment: Fully committing to one another in every way they feel comfortable whilst doing so.
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Munira Electricwala is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.